lovedrug

bought lovedrug today. Good stuff. Things are so crazy these days... I wish we could go back and undo it all.


Time to go break my heart in two for you again.

sigh.

"all i want, is someone real
someone to hold a candle with me
let the nightfires burn
its not what i choose, its what i feel..."
-the elms


I want to love you like an indian summer
I want to wear a chain of dasies
I want to dance slow to neil young
I want to be wrapped in your coat
I want to be kissed beneath a frozen weeping willow

winter advisory

more snow than we know what to do with is on the way....sucks to live in ohio. haha maybe we will make lemonade from these lemons and go sledriding? who knows. Its been pretty boring here as of late. Time to stir things up a bit.

the townspeople cried against you

erica + starbucks + pittsburg + late-night-holiday-traffic

you do the math.

On a more pleasant note I took some pictures with my new camera yesterday. I think I will get them printed too. Sounds like a riot. The late nights im seeing are kiling me. I am 70% sure im cathing a serious cold and i have not turned out the light before 12:30 for the past 3-4 nights. Then insomia starts its magic. Ill blame it on the 1-10 crap at work. Throwing me off balance. Yeah, i wish i had some profound truth to offer, but instead im shooting nonsense into cyberspace.

keeping with the current

my job is:
a) wonderful
b) inspiring
c) a pain

lets go with choice "C". The reason? Days like today when i am the only one who knows whats going on. Someone switched our 4in. paper to type two without registering the emulsion in the computer....so things were looking a little green until it was fixed. I started work at 1pm...first break? approx. 4. lunch? 6:45. No big deal i wasnt very interested in eating (but i had subway anyway). The only up-side to this is when i get back i have 3.5 hours to get through and one break left so it should go quickly. In a desperate (and futile) effort to avoid the snow last night I didnt leave the store until 11:30. I walked out with 10 bucks on a gift card and two Christmas drapes after some conversation.

this is not complete

i've heard that we become what we behold.

what then of heartache?

-frosted thoughts- :line me with love:

Winter snow....the world is dying.
Ill hide just beneath the surface
I've forgotten how the summer sun heated the pavement
Its cracking now, holes to fill up


First snowfalls are always full of magic to me - they hold mystery in their silence.

done. (wishing this was over)

now for the hard part?

evergreen

Somewhere -behind the frsoted glass
(Somewhere on the other side)
Trees on fire that do not burn
Hearts that hold secrets - warming in the glow
Snowflakes fall, fall, fall
I know this will not find you
Across the icy dawn
Glides the white angel
She wakes the world with a song
Stirring us to life
Oh, string the town with lights for me -
I want now to come home
12.6.04


In general I dont consider the breakroom at work a great place for writing but they put up a tree for the holiday's...its still pretty bare, only a string of lights on it. This poem was the result of imagery that came to my head as I looked at it.

results

This goes along with me prevoius post about art and life, the influence of television on our society.


T.v is a reflection of Society:
-Pam
-Chuck
-Jim H.
-Mary Jo

Society reflects T.v:
-Larry
-Holly
-Ashley
-Adam
-James
-Karl
-Joey
-Carol

sub-category - these people wanted to go with the first statement, they believe it should be that way, but today the trend seems to be us imitating what we see on Television
-Jackie
-Kristen
-Kathy

Independent (TV has no effect)
-Abby

and then there is Levi....it depends on what particular programing you are talking about (which is true as well - this was a general survey but his answer counts as its own category)


most intersting comments i heard while doing this?

"where are they getting this stuff for tv? It has to be from real life" Mary Jo \ good point. That pushes the argument in the first direction somewhat this designates a definite starting point.

the "star trek" concept. Modern computers, cell phones reflect the ones from this television show to a degree - second argument this isnt really important but it was interesting (adam)

For our particular area (see: redneck town) we imitate TV because we are "catching" up to California.....true as well. This leans to the second argument and is based on your geographic location. (this was from joey)

"neither...the kids who killed the other students at Columbine did it because their parents didnt hug them" (this is not a direct quote just the idea she had) Abbey.


I really liked this because this kind of sums it all up. In reality we have the chance to cultivate our minds however we choose and there are incredibly intelligent people who watch plenty of TV. YOU decide who you will become. Granted my personal opinion is that most media is a total waste of our time and by choosing to not watch / read / listen to it we can show everyone in the business there are more important things requiring immediate attention, like people without clean drinking water or children living in abusive situations. But once again that is YOUR choice, not mine.

My opinion on the whole sistuation is it is a vicious cycle...life is the starting point but somewhere in Hollywood and the millions these people are making so we can sit on our butt and do nothing (dont take me wrong.... i do watch television -"everyting in moderation" though my friends) something is lost- something true.....we are turning into robots. Walk outside and breathe in fresh air. Kiss someone you love. Your life is passing you by. Dont lose it.

i know, i know

"i used to be indecisive, but now im not so sure"

haah this is like the 3rd time ive changed the layout for my blog.....i wish i had the time to create my own. But i dont -im stuck using these pre-made ones. Oh well. I dont want to take this test...im not going to do well and i know it- i wish i would have gotten on the ball and studied a while back but i didnt and now im cramming all this stuff into my brain when i want to worry about more important things than the placement of commas or how to do a quadratic equation. Ughh i wish this fell into some recognizable pattern....namely one that looks like me (at least who i wish to be) but its all so fuzzy. Its following a voice that isnt quite clear yet. Its a shape to close up to distinguish. Its an answer to difficult to understand yet. I guess this is where patience needs to come and rescue me again.


You will find me on my knees

tonight.

:no negotiations:

"The altar is not a negotiation table" Believe it. Know it. Father, pierce me.


Today im gonna hit the big city and get my Christmas shopping done. I like the holidays, but Christmas has become so materialistic. I hope in some way our gift giving is a shadow of the wise men who traveled for 1-3 years in search of the Christ child. That we can step back for just a moment and fall softly to our knees in the snow to remember the innocence of our youth. Have we forgotten how to hold our hearts? We trap our deepest and truest emotions within us. Advent starts today, ever my mom started the tradition with us it has been one of my favorites. It stops the world from turning so fast- when everyone else is rushing around I can gaze upon a manger. Im realizing the revolutionary nature of my faith- the Son of God left the throne of heaven to come as a helpless baby. This must be love.



Counting down, expecting latest, greatest
Newest model maybe, hope
Wishing, hoping, praying
To outdo the Joneses

Squalor, impulse, crowding, tis the season
Do the days turn just for these?
Savior born in manger
Please forgive us born in the Inn

Heaven tomorrow
Heaven, my chance to have it all
See all my glimmering weakness
Here's my world, come on will You come in?
Brought to my knees
Child I'll play for You

Child enters in this world, it's broken
Angels sing and men sleep the night
Though it's brazen and defiant
Please be born in my heart

Heaven tomorrow
Heaven, skies open, pour out hope

~Ace Troubleshooter.

o come, let us adore Him.

Note to self:

-There are two sides to every argument. Two opposite extremes. Neither is better in some cases...rather they just mirror each other in the degree of "right" or "wrong"

I wish this was easy,
I wish it was "im right, you're wrong"
But it's still always one more thing
Until we are over the edge, over ourselves
What will be left.....im right / you're wrong
8.9.04

-You will not always fall to one side or the other. People are individuals - unique. And regardless of our stereotypical society all of us fight to maintain some identity. Do not fear this.

-You will change your mind from time to time. You will regress, you will progress. Time (is what it takes)

-You must learn to objectively evaluate yourself and the choices you make. You are more than you think you are and you are your worst critic.....dont always listen to yourself.

-Learn to love. You will be 6 feet under one day. What matters then? Decide that now. Invest your life not in a cause, not in a feeling, not in a name......but rather invest in the lives of people. Those you live with, work with; they are our most immediate chances to see and make a difference.

-Simplify.


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